Title:Colored Paper
Prompt: Dopplegangers
Rating: T, for swearing and naked Kuroganes (yes, plural)
Warnings: Post-series, though any spoilers are mostly implicit
Notes: Hopefully someone finds this funny. I actually managed to write something not super-long for once. Also I'm too tired to think up a decent title so I'm making do.


The way Kurogane saw it there were, in general, three types of worlds.

There were the good worlds, where they had allies and friends, where food and shelter were easy to find and they could all relax and enjoy themselves. There were the bad worlds, the ones where eyes got ripped out and arms were lost and life threatening danger was everywhere (those, at least, had been lower in supply since they’d killed the bastard in Clow and in any case Kurogane enjoyed the occasional life threatening danger because it kept the blood pumping). Then there were the other worlds.

The weird worlds.

There was, for example, the one with all the Pomeranians (where the stupid magician had decided to use up all the ‘Kuro-puppy’ jokes he had apparently been saving since all the way back in Outo). There was the world made of cheese (where the stupid magician had insisted he spoke fluent mouse and Kurogane still didn’t quite believe him even if the mice had brought them into the cheese castle for tea and even let Syaoran look around their library for a bit). There was the one where normal weapons didn’t work and there were all given stupid sparkly sticks that were used for pointless transformation sequences (where the stupid magician had continued to make jokes about the sizes of everyone’s magic rods until long after the point where anyone except Fai and Mokona still thought they were funny). And even in otherwise relatively normal worlds it always seemed that if something weird was going to happen, it inevitably happened to Kurogane. The only good thing about the weird worlds, really, was that he could almost always see them coming.

Almost always.

—

The world they landed in had seemed fairly normal from the outset. They arrived in a small quaint village full of equally quaint villagers who were charmed by Fai and nervous about Kurogane and perfectly happy to direct Syaoran to the nearest library on account of how politely he asked.

“You’re in luck!” The bartender at the only inn in the village told them. “The Infinite Library’s visitin’ tonight.”

“The Infinite Library always comes by this time of year,” the barmaid said as she served them drinks. “It’s complete amazin’, really. A body could get lost in there forever.”

“I did, once,” an old man at the bar added. “Didn’t even realize I’d been there all year ‘til I finished my book and stepped outside. Strangest thing. That was before, o’ course.”

“Before?” Fai asked with polite curiosity, even as he exchanged a quick look with Kurogane and Syaoran.

“Well, the caretaker left, oh…about three, four decades, now? Been so long.” The old man took a long swig of his drink. “She was a pretty young thing, a couple hundred years old if she’s a day. Magicians, you know how it is.”

Kurogane couldn’t stop his grunt of agreement and Fai chuckled quietly.

“Anyways, the girl she’s got watchin’ the place now is sure a spitfire,” the old man continued. “Gave my buddy a rabbit tail when he tried to go in last year. He’s still got it, actually. I’ll call him here and show you if you’d like.”

“No thanks,” Kurogane said flatly because he wasn’t completely certain if the look of polite interest on Fai’s face indicated that he wasn’t really interested at all or that he only wanted to look so he could figure out how to do the rabbit tail spell himself (and that was a power Kurogane didn't think Fai was mature enough to handle safely, because fuck if he was ending up with a rabbit tail).

And that was how they’d found themselves standing on a hill in the middle of the night, waiting for a giant building to manifest itself out of nowhere.

“So where is this library supposed to show up, anyway?” Kurogane asked, surveying the wide empty hill all around them. There was no sign of anything, not even a bird.

“The villagers said it always shows up here,” Syaoran said. “Once the moons get highest in the sky.”

“So it just appears out of nowhere, huh?” Fai said thoughtfully.

“Do you think it’ll be of any help?” Kurogane glanced over at Syaoran.

“I hope.”

“Well, if it’s as big as the villagers said then there’s probably something in there that can be of use,” Fai said cheerily. “Be more optimistic, Kuro-sama. You’ll upset the kids.”

Kurogane started to answer and was cut off by a sound like hundreds of small rocks being smashed together. There was a sudden shower of rainbow-colored lights, so bright they all had to cover their eyes against the glare. When the light died down and the spots cleared from their eyes, the hill was no longer empty. A giant building of red brick sat in front of them, looking as if it had always been there.

“My, how convenient!” Fai said appreciatively. “Well, shall we go in?” He started towards the library and Kurogane grabbed his arm. “Hm? Kuro-sama?”

“Is it safe to just walk in there?” Kurogane asked and Fai regarded him seriously for a moment.

“There’s magic all over this place,” he reported. “But I think it will be okay. After all, you’re here to help, right?” He winked at Kurogane and then pulled free, starting up the steps to the door. “Come on, come on! It won’t be here all day, after all. Or I guess it might be here forever, depending on your viewpoint.”

Once inside the library they found themselves in an absurdly long hallway lined with green tapestries. There were smaller hallways branching out from the main corridor but they had all been blocked off by large cheery pink ribbons. There were crudely drawn arrows along the wall pointing the way forward with what looked like a child’s scrawl written above them. Kurogane didn’t recognize it at all but Fai regarded it with interest.

“Can you tell what it says, Fai-san?” Syaoran came up beside him.

“I think so,” Fai said. “It says ‘This way, stupid.’” Kurogane glared at him and Fai waved a hand quickly. “No, really, that’s what it says! Well, something maybe a little ruder than that but there are children listening, after all.” He pressed one hand over Syaoran’s and Mokona’s ears and Kurogane sighed.

The arrows led them to a large set of double doors. Unlike the rest of the doors along the corridor, which were shut tight, this one was wide open as if in invitation.

“I guess this is where we’re supposed to go,” Syaoran said nervously as he pushed the doors open. As they entered Kurogane noticed Fai pause for just a moment, looking back the way they’d come. He caught Kurogane’s gaze and gave him a grim smile in return.

The room they stepped in was enormous. There were books everywhere, shelves miles high and reaching up beyond where they could see. Ladders were pushed against the stacks, made of what looked like thick black words in an unfamiliar language. Even the stairs that led around the room were simply composed of hundreds of books stacked on top of each other, and the giant table in the center of the room was an enormous tome that had to weigh more than all four of them combined.

“It certainly is ‘infinite,’ isn’t it?” Fai said.

“Very impressive,” added Mokona.

There was a scrambling sound and something climbed down from one of the shelves to land in front of them. It looked a little like a monkey made entirely of wide flat books. Smaller books no bigger than Mokona fluttered around its shoulders like butterflies. The book that made up its face opened wide, revealing a page covered in writing.

“What does it say?” Syaoran started to ask Fai, who leaned in to look. Even as he did the book’s pages turned, revealing a different page in a distinctly different language.

“This is…Kuro-sama’s language now, isn’t it?” Fai said and Kurogane looked over his shoulder, interested despite himself.

“It looks like an index,” Syaoran said. “I think it wants to know what we’re searching for.”

“What are we searching for?” Kurogane spoke up.

“Well…a method to find something to store a soul in, I guess?” Syaoran said uncertainly.

“A way to create a vessel for memories,” Fai suggested. “Or how to return something that once had a form to a new form. Anything like that would help, I suppose. Are all these books multi-lingual, do you think?”

The book slammed shut and the monkey-thing immediately ran off. There was a flurry of movement as more book monkeys began to appear all along the shelves, grabbing books from here and there and dropping them onto the table in front of Syaoran. In no time the stack was taller than he was.

“Such service,” Fai said with a note of professional appreciation. Syaoran had already grabbed a book and become engrossed. Fai took hold of one as if to help, then paused and glanced at Kurogane, who nodded and took a step back towards the door. Fai set the book down and began to follow.

“Fai?” Mokona looked up from its place on Syaoran’s shoulder and Fai placed a finger to his lips.

“Don’t mind us, Mokona,” he said. “Mommy and Daddy need a little alone time. Keep an eye on Syaoran-kun, all right?”

“Right!” Mokona nodded and gave them what looked like a wink and a thumbs up (which it somehow managed despite not having thumbs). Kurogane swallowed a groan and grabbed Fai’s wrist, dragging him out the door.

“Don’t give people the wrong idea, idiot,” Kurogane said once they were outside.

“I just didn’t want to worry Syaoran-kun,” Fai said. “And I do hate to be the one to break this to you, Kuro-sama, but I believe Syaoran-kun is old enough now for you to give him the birds and the bees talk. I’ll take care of Sakura-chan’s half the next time we get back to Clow, of course.”

“That wasn’t what I meant,” Kurogane said, choking down his frustration and hoping his face hadn’t gone as red as it felt. “Anyway, I didn’t drag you out here to have ‘alone time’ or any of that crap, so--”

“I know, I know.” Fai gave him a confident smile. “You felt it too, right?”

“We’re being watched.”

“By the caretaker, I imagine,” Fai said. “I wonder why our host hasn’t felt the need to show herself yet?”

“Because you’re boring,” a voice came from behind them. They both whirled, Kurogane’s hand going to the hilt of his sword. A girl stood behind them, leaning idly on the walls. She was very short and looked to be quite young, with long strawberry-colored hair that trailed on the floor. She was wearing a black cape and black gloves, and her eyes shone red behind thin silver-framed glasses. At her side was a spindly brown wand with a key dangling from the end of it.

“I’m sorry about that,” Fai said carefully. “I’m afraid Kuro-sama here can be a little dull sometimes, but don’t hold it against him. He’s just a cuddly puppy, really.”

“Not the time.”

“But that’s why I love you, Kuro-sama! You look so mean and nasty but you have a center of creamy nougat.”

“Creamy…what?”

“Boring!” The girl burst out, interrupting them both. “You are both so boring! If you didn’t come to do anything fun, get out of my library!”

“Your library?” Kurogane regarded her darkly.

“So you are the caretaker, then?” Fai said, stepping forward smoothly.

“Eh? She’s just a brat,” Kurogane said disbelievingly.

“Don’t be a rude guest, Kuro-sama,” Fai chided mildly. “I really do apologize for his bad manners. We didn’t mean to intrude. I’m Fai and Mr. Grumpy here is Kuro-sama…”

“Kurogane.”

“And you are…?” Fai continued, ignoring the interruption.

“Bridget.” The girl tapped her wand on the ground in a sharp rhythm. “Intruders are always so boring. You could at least try to steal something, you know. Make a big explosion or something, like boom!” She jumped into the air and her cape suddenly flared out like wings as she seemingly floated upwards, leaning against the ceiling. She rested her chin on her hands and regarded them with a thoughtful expression. “Hey you. Mr. Black Kurowhatsis. Do a dance for me.”

“Why should I?” Kurogane replied coldly, not relaxing at all. If there was one thing he had learned about magicians it was that the more annoying and harmless they seemed, the more powerful they probably were.

“I’m afraid Kuro-sama’s not much of a dancer,” Fai said. “Sorry about that.”

“You don’t have to apologize to her,” Kurogane muttered.

“I’m trying to be polite,” Fai said. “You should treat girls nicer, Kuro-sama.”

“I didn’t ask you, Mr. Grumpy’s Boyfriend,” Bridget said pointedly. “Well, if you won’t do a dance, then sing a song for me. Or tell me a story about something super embarrassing that happened to you. I’m tired of things being the same all the time, so you need to make them more fun.”

“The hell I’m doing any of that,” Kurogane said shortly.

“Really?” Bridget began to smile. “Well, then I guess we’ll just have to play one of my games now, huh? Remember, you asked for it.”

She raised her wand. Kurogane’s hand immediately flew to his sword and out of the corner of his eye he could see Fai raise his hands, magic gathering at his fingertips. Bridget smirked tapped her wand against the wall.

And then she wasn’t there anymore, and Fai and Kurogane stood in a completely different hallway with giant suits of armor lined up along the walls.

“What the…?” Kurogane looked around wildly.

“She moved us,” Fai said, face now serious. “She didn’t even cast any kind of spell…”

“Why would I need to do that?” Bridget’s voice floated in from all around them. “This is my library, you know. So as long as I’m in here, I can be wherever I want. And that goes for anyone inside it too. So…time to play!”

Something sharp hit Kurogane in the back and he fell forward. The last thing he saw was Fai’s wide panicked eyes before everything exploded in a burst of white and gold.

--

“Kuro-sama!” Fai’s voice sounded fuzzy in his ears and Kurogane blinked slowly as his senses returned.

They were in another part of the library now. The walls were made of light brown sandstone edged in gold and there was an absolutely ridiculous looking chandelier hanging directly above him.

“Kuro-sama, wake up!” He heard Fai call again and Kurogane shook his head to clear it, sitting up slowly. Everything still looked a little strange to his eyes, a little too bright and not quite as distinct as it should be. Fai was looking at him with an odd expression. Something felt wrong and Kurogane grabbed for Fai’s wrist.

His hand passed straight through Fai’s body and he sat bolt upright, swearing.

“Ah, did you just figure it out?” Bridget’s voice drawled as she dropped down from the chandelier, hanging by her legs.

“What the hell did you do to me?” Kurogane growled, jumping to his feet. His body looked somehow gray and translucent as he looked down at it and there was a silver collar with an enormous lock around his neck.

“I don’t believe that was very nice, Bridget-chan,” Fai said severely. He was still smiling, Kurogane noted, but it was one of those smiles that reminded Kurogane why he loved the stupid bastard in the first place (that is, the type of smile that suggested someone was about to be injured very badly if they didn’t do whatever Fai said, preferably in less time than it took the mage to say it).

“Huh? It’s just a game, right? You’d better hurry before they get away.” Bridget gestured with her wand and Fai and Kurogane followed the motion.

Standing in front of them was a small cluster of creatures that looked like giant paper cutouts. They were all Kurogane’s height and their silhouettes looked vaguely similar to his. Somewhere on the body of each one was a mark that looked like a keyhole.

“Hey, blondie,” Bridget called. Fai turned to look at her just as she threw something in the air towards him. Fai reached out and caught it, holding it out in his palm for Kurogane to see. It was a small golden key on a thin chain. There were several grooves in the edges, as if there should have been some kind of gem or decoration set there. “You’d better catch those guys quick, if you want to be able to put your hands all over your boyfriend again instead of through him. It’s time for tag!”

Before either of them could say anything the room blurred again and they were in a new hall, this one with bright blue paint splotches on the walls. The paper Kuroganes hovered in front of them for just a moment and then suddenly turned and ran.

“What the hell is going on?” Kurogane muttered as Fai started running after them.

“I do believe we’re playing tag,” Fai replied, wrapping the key around his wrist. “Come on, Kuro-sama, we’d better run!”

“This is such a pain,” Kurogane stated, following after Fai.

“Well, don’t get yourself hit by magic curses next time!”

“How the hell is this my fault?!”

“You make such a tempting target of yourself,” Fai said, shaking his head. There was one paper Kurogane easily visible in front of them. It suddenly whirled as if blown by wind and slid into the cracks of a closed door. Fai pulled the door open, Kurogane following only a few steps behind him.

This room was different from the one they had left Syaoran in. It was narrower but incredibly high, white walls stretching up into the heavens. There were extravagant balconies jutting out a various intervals along the walls and there were thin vines made of rolled-up green parchment that crept up the walls like clinging ivy. Other vines hung down from above and there were winding stairs leading up and down the entire room. The place they had stepped out onto was on a balcony that seemed to be somewhere above ground and looking down they couldn’t see anything but a steep drop and fog. Fai put a wondering hand against the wall and looking closer Kurogane noted that what he had taken for white bricks were stacked books with white covers. There were more book monkeys swinging back and forth on the vines, removing books from one part of the white wall and placing them in another. Kurogane thought he caught a glimpse of something gray floating past one of the monkeys as they leaned out over the balcony.

“Where the hell did it go?” Kurogane wondered aloud. Fai ignored him, reaching up a hand as a book monkey suddenly sat up straight and clambered down to him. The book of its face opened and it practically shoved the words in Fai’s face

“So convenient,” Fai said with amused interest. “So it’s this spell, huh?”

“That thing can tell you what’s going on?” Kurogane asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It looks like that spell makes… it says ‘blank copies,’ but I’m not so sure of the phrasing,” Fai said. “This isn’t quite my language. Anyway, it looks like they should all have a keyhole somewhere on their bodies. I put the key in” — he held up the golden key still dangling from his wrist — “and it goes back in here. Once we get them all I can unlock Kuro-sama’s puppy collar and you should probably be back to normal.”

“Probably?” Of course it was ‘probably.’ It was always ‘probably.’

“Magic isn’t always quite as precise as we’d like,” Fai said with a bright smile, patting Kurogane on the shoulder — or trying to, at least, as Kurogane’s present state meant the hand went through his shoulder instead.

“Please stop that,” Kurogane said through gritted teeth.

“Does it hurt?” Fai asked, looking surprised.

“No,” Kurogane admitted. “It’s just…fucking weird.”

“It is kind of interesting,” Fai said, idly swinging one hand through Kurogane’s torso. “You’re completely incorporeal. I wonder why you don’t sink through the floor.”

“Stop. Doing. That.”

“Oops, sorry.” Fai didn’t sound at all sorry, and Kurogane would honestly have been more surprised if he had. Fai’s head suddenly snapped up. “You shouldn’t spy on people, Bridget-chan.”

“You two really don’t know how to play a game properly, do you?” Bridget was hovering at the edge of the balcony opposite them. The paper Kurogane stood beside her, arms crossed. “Well, let’s try this. Dance for me, puppets.” She tapped her wand against the paper silhouette and the world blurred. Suddenly Fai and Kurogane found themselves standing on another balcony several feet higher than where they’d been before, both Bridget and the paper silhouette nowhere to be seen.

“So what did she do now?” Kurogane asked.

“I’m not--” Fai cut off as something swooped down from above and grabbed him by the waist. Kurogane turned just in time to see a vine swing by his face and a figure landed heavily on the edge of the balcony, looking down at him with Fai clutched protectively in its arms. Kurogane stared.

It was him.

Well…not quite him. Kurogane certainly wouldn’t be caught dead in the ridiculous white outfit the other him was wearing, trimmed in gold with — was that a fur-lined cape, seriously — and stupid pointy impractical shoes that only an idiot would be caught wearing. The smile on the other Kurogane’s face was big and wide and dopey. Fai was staring at the white Kurogane as if he wasn’t quite sure whether to be horrified or burst out laughing (laughing was clearly winning, only likely to be overtaken by ‘taking mental notes in order to recount this in detail to anyone who will listen later’).

“Stay back, foul demon!” The white Kurogane bellowed and the damn idiot was posing, it was almost embarrassing seeing himself like that. A vine swung by the white Kurogane’s face and he grabbed onto it with one hand, easily swinging Fai over his shoulder. The mage made a noise of surprise mixed with amusement. “Come, fair one, with me!”

And then the white Kurogane jumped off the balcony, swinging forward on the vine like some kind of idiot monkey. Kurogane found himself staring open-mouthed for half a moment before it occurred to him that a stupider version of himself had just kidnapped his magician. He could see the two of them landing on another balcony several feet above. With a sigh Kurogane made a move for the nearest staircase.

He ran upwards and then skidded abruptly to a stop, unable to stop himself from staring at the image in front of him.

“My beloved.” The white Kurogane had set Fai back on his feet and was down on one knee, holding Fai’s hand reverently. The magician was biting his lip in a masterful effort to keep from bursting into laughter. “I have rescued you at last from the dangerous black beast.”

“My hero!” Fai said — twittered, practically, and Kurogane just knew the bastard was playing along on purpose — and fell into the white Kurogane’s arms, one arm laid theatrically across his forehead. “So heroic, Prince Kuro-sama!”

“You need fear nothing while I am here.” The white Kurogane gathered Fai into his arms and Kurogane might have been slightly jealous if it wasn’t for the blinding rage. “My love, allow me to give you all the gifts of the world.” A book monkey appeared from somewhere and handed him a rose made of pages, which the white Kurogane slipped into Fai’s hair. Fai suddenly noticed Kurogane standing a few feet away and waved cheerily as the white Kurogane continued. “Your eyes are like twin pools of sapphire. Your skin is pure alabaster silk under my hands.”

“Are you going to do anything about this anytime soon?” Kurogane asked in low tones as he slowly came up behind them.

“Wait, wait, I want to hear more of this,” Fai said.

“I could write poetry to give shape to our love, but no mere words could contain it,” the white Kurogane continued.

“No, please, try,” Fai encouraged. “I want to hear your poem, Kuro-sama.”

“No you don’t,” Kurogane sighed. The white Kurogane suddenly looked up.

“The foul beast returns!” He pushed Fai protectively behind him and pulled out his sword. The hilt was in the shape of some kind of weird-looking pink horse and the steel looked it couldn’t cut through butter. Kurogane felt embarrassed on Ginryuu’s behalf. “Stay back, fair one! I shall slay the beast!”

Kurogane gave Fai a look and Fai sighed regretfully.

“You probably shouldn’t.” Fai reached over and ran a hand along the white Kurogane’s arm, sliding up the sleeve just slightly, and Kurogane momentarily caught sight of a tattoo in the shape of a keyhole before Fai tapped the golden key against it. The white Kurogane looked blankly surprised for a moment before the body burst into bright white sparks and was sucked into the key.

“Did that get rid of it?” Kurogane asked, coming closer to take a look. Fai held out the key to him and Kurogane could see that there was a single silver stone set along the edge.

“I never got my poem,” Fai said, shaking his head. “Kuro-sama, you owe me poetry now.”

“I do not!”

“Alas, I am bereft,” Fai said dramatically, making a wide gesture with his arms. “My beloved Prince Kuro-sama has been taken away and replaced by the monstrous Kuro-beast, who has absolutely no sense of romance whatsoever.”

“We are forgetting this ever happened,” Kurogane said darkly, unimpressed. “Understand, idiot? This never happened.”

“You could just write me a poem because,” Fai continued, blithely ignoring him. “It doesn’t even have to rhyme.”

“I’m not writing you a poem!”

“See? No sense of romance.” Fai sighed and took the paper rose from his hair, letting it flutter off the balcony towards the ground. “If you’re not careful, Kuro-sama, I’ll have no choice but to leave you for yourself.”

—

“Can we keep him?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

They were in yet another strange room in the library. The floor was a wide yellow circle and there were small swings hanging down from the ceiling on golden wires, with books stacked on them. The floor was covered in soft yellow cushions and Fai was sitting on the back of one of them, patting Kurogane’s head.

Well, patting the head of one Kurogane, at any rate.

This one had looked normal enough, at first, dressed all in a dull orange-colored cloak and leaning calmly against a wall. It looked so normal that Kurogane had held out hope that maybe breaking the rest of the stupid spell would be easier than he’d thought. Then the orange Kurogane had raised his head and they’d both seen the pair of furry black dog-ears. He had promptly jumped all over Fai, at which point Kurogane had noticed the fluffy black tail waving out from under the orange cape.

“He’s so affectionate, though!” Fai said, scratching the orange Kurogane behind his ears as the creature stared up at him with abject adoration.

“Will you just get rid of him already?” Kurogane asked and he didn’t like the strain in his voice. Now that things seemed suddenly much less life-threatening and more Kurogane-embarrassing Fai was clearly enjoying the entire scenario far too much.

“And Syaoran-kun has always wanted a dog,” Fai added. “Kuro-puppy just wants to be friends with everyone, don’t you, Kuro-puppy? Who's a good Kuro-sama? Who’s a good widdle fwuffy-wuffy Kuro-sama?”

For what he was certain would not be the last time, Kurogane really wished he could be corporeal again just so he could hit something (or someone, preferably the annoying witch who’d cursed him but the stupid magician would do in a pinch).

“Another time, I guess,” Fai said with a sigh of regret as he tapped the key against the orange Kurogane’s cheek, right where the lock tattoo stood out clearly. The Kurogane gave a sad little whimper as his form turned into orange sparkles and disappeared inside the key. Fai held the key in front of his face with a thoughtful look and Kurogane eyed him suspiciously.

“Hey. What’s with that look?”

“Nothing,” Fai said sweetly, which was Stupid Magician for ‘something.’

“We’re not telling the kid about this,” Kurogane said flatly.

“Now, now, Kuro-sama,” Fai said. “Do you really think I’d spread stories about playing with a cute little Kurogane that had puppy ears and a tail and a sweet little bark?”

“Yes.”

“Well, yes, but I won’t if you don’t want me to,” Fai said. “It’ll be our little secret, Kuro-sama. Just between you and me. And maybe Tomoyo-chan.”

“You wouldn’t fucking dare.”

Fai laughed again, and Kurogane wondered how it was that being with Fai made him both love and hate his life at the same time.

—

Kurogane had seen many horrifying, terrible things in his life. He’d witnessed violence, killings, seen people he cared about in danger.

Somehow, none of that was as terrifying as the sight before him now: his own face plastered with a bright, cheery smile, settled comfortably on a couch made of rolled parchment and fucking gossiping with the magician.

“Kuro-sama really needs to relax sometimes, don’t you think?” Fai said happily, patting the wings of a small book bird fluttering near his shoulders.

“He doesn’t deal well with stress at all,” the paper Kurogane said, nodding sagely. This one was dressed all in bright blue, with a coat that reminded him vaguely of the ridiculous puffy thing Fai had worn once upon a time. “He’s so tense.”

“And he never did write me a poem,” Fai said, pulling a mournful look.

“That’s so mean,” the blue Kurogane agreed. “If he had a better sense of humor he wouldn’t have to worry about these kind of things happening all the time. That’s why he ends up in trouble so often.”

“That’s true, huh?” Fai laughed. “Remember what happened in that world with the fish?”

“And the time with that little swimsuit!” The blue Kurogane giggled and damn it Kurogane was certain he had never giggled in his entire life. “He still likes to act like that one never happened.”

“He’s just really a handful to take care of,” Fai said with a look of long suffering. “Though really, if he wasn’t like that he just wouldn’t be my Kuro-sama, I suppose, so I’ll have to deal with it.”

“It’s a hard life to live, huh?” The blue Kurogane patted Fai comfortingly on the back.

“Are you two done yet?” Kurogane muttered from where he was standing several feet away trying very hard to ignore them both.

“See? So impatient,” Fai said. “It’s been so long since I had someone who really understood what it was like. I don’t think I’ve had a chance to chat with Tomoyo-chan in ages.”

“The things you do for love,” the blue Kurogane added. “At least he looks cute when he’s mad, right?”

“That’s true,” Fai said, brightening. “Like right now.”

“He’s positively adorable,” the blue Kurogane agreed.

“And getting cuter by the minute,” Fai added with a wink. Kurogane snorted and looked away to indicate he Didn’t Care and Wasn’t Listening Anyway Damn It.

“Remember that time with the Pomeranians?” the blue Kurogane said and that was definitely It.

“Are you done yet?” Kurogane asked and Fai smiled sweetly back at him.

“I suppose we should wrap this up,” Fai said conversationally, turning back to the blue Kurogane.

“I guess so,” the blue Kurogane said. “Try to keep him in line, right?”

“Right!” Fai chirped, and the blue Kurogane helpfully pulled down his shirt collar so that Fai could press the key against the lock tattoo near the top of his chest. There was a sparkle of color and then Fai hopped off the now-empty couch, skipping over to where Kurogane was waiting.

“Don’t look so glum, Kuro-sama,” Fai said. “There should only be a few more, I think.”

“Hey. You’re not taking this seriously at all, are you?” Kurogane said darkly.

“Don’t be silly, Kuro-sama,” Fai said. “I’m taking this very seriously. After all, it’s not every day I get to have such pleasant conversations with you.”

Kurogane sighed heavily. This was definitely, officially one of Those worlds.

—

“This way!” Fai skidded around a corner of a silver-walled hallway, Kurogane close behind.

“I don’t see anything,” Kurogane muttered as they both slid to a stop, Fai looking around with narrowed eyes. They had been wandering the halls following the sound of Bridget’s laughter when they’d spotted three paper Kuroganes floating along the walls. As soon as Fai had taken note of them they had flown off as if carried by an invisible breeze.

“They went in…here, I think?” Fai pressed a hand against one of the doors lining the hall. It was set with some sort of deep blue stone and its surface seemed to ripple for a moment when Fai touched it before sliding away to reveal a long dark tunnel lined with folded pieces of paper. Words were scrawled along the walls in glowing script that lit everything with a soft blue light. Fai took a step inside and then paused, looking down. “It’s wet.”

“What the hell kind of library is this?” Kurogane muttered as he followed Fai inside. The floor was made of smooth blue stones and there was about a foot of water inside it, like a small pool (Kurogane allowed himself to take minor satisfaction in the fact that, being incorporeal, his clothes didn’t seem to be affected at all while Fai’s shoes and the edge of his cloak were quickly soaked).

They moved deeper into the room and the door slid shut behind them. Suddenly the writing on the walls flared to life, illuminating two distinct tunnels. The path split neatly right in front of them.

“I guess I’ll go right, and you left?” Fai said. “Yell if you find something, Kuro-sama. Be careful not to get hit by any more spells, all right?”

“I should tell you that,” Kurogane snorted. “I’m a damn…ghost or whatever, right? You’re the one who can still get in trouble.”

“I can’t ever argue with you, can I?” Fai said brightly. He gave Kurogane a brief nod and then took off down the rightmost tunnel. Kurogane stared after him for a moment before heading down the remaining tunnel.

As the tunnel began to widen he was aware of the sounds of dripping water from somewhere above like the sound of a soft, steady drum. Something white flashed in front of him and he caught sight of the edge of one paper Kurogane slipping down the tunnel.

“Hey!” Kurogane immediately followed after it. The room suddenly widened and he slid to a stop.

The tunnel had opened out into an enormous circular cavern, like the inside of an underground cave. Bat-like creatures made out of books covered the ceiling, adding the sound of rustling paper to the steady beat of water drops, and high thin bookshelves jutted up from the ground like stalactites. The three paper silhouettes chased each other through the air in front of him.

Laughter filled the cave and suddenly there was a shower of sparks, red, yellow, green, and when the spots cleared from Kurogane’s eyes he could see that the paper creatures had turned into three more duplicates. One wore a red cape, one a yellow cape, the third a green cape.

That was also quite literally all they wore.

“What…the hell…” Kurogane stared flatly at the three naked versions of him standing in the center of the cavern. They each draped themselves against a different bookshelf, moving slowly as if in time to the sound of water and paper.

“Kuro-sama, did you find…any…oh. Oh.” That last ‘oh’ was far too intrigued and Kurogane had to stop himself from giving in to the urge to put a hand over Fai’s eyes.

“Just…get rid of them,” Kurogane said flatly.

“Right, right. Of course, Kuro-sama. In…just a moment.” The stupid mage was definitely staring now and damn it, Kurogane was not going to feel jealous of himself. “Well, they’re certainly anatomically correct, aren’t they?”

“That’s your take-away from this?” Kurogane said darkly.

“Just appreciating fine handiwork where I see it,” Fai said sweetly. The green Kurogane seemed to notice him and gave Fai a sly smile, indicating for him to come closer. Fai nudged past Kurogane to move near to where the three duplicates waited. Kurogane grabbed at his arm without thinking and his hand passed easily through Fai’s body.

“You’re not going over there,” Kurogane said.

“I have to get them back in the key, right?” Fai said, dangling the key in front of Kurogane’s face. “Don’t worry, Kuro-sama. I only want them for their bodies.”

Kurogane snorted and Fai took another step forward. Suddenly the green Kurogane grabbed his arm and pulled him forward, holding him at arm’s length and staring deep into his eyes.

“W-well. My.” If there was one good thing to come of this — and from where Kurogane stood there really was only one good thing — it was knowing that Kurogane had at least, in some small way, contributed to for once leaving Fai speechless.

“Come on, you have to be more forward than that!” A voice rang out and a few bats fluttered away as Bridge appeared, sitting on top of the nearest bookshelf and swinging her legs. “I was hoping for some drama.”

“I really don’t think this kind of play is appropriate for a young lady, Bridget-chan,” Fai said mildly as the green Kurogane swung him over into the yellow Kurogane’s arms.

“I’m seventy-seven years old,” Bridget sniffed.

“A young lady, like I said,” Fai continued as he was passed from the yellow Kurogane to the red. As the red Kurogane swung him around in a dancing motion Fai leaned over — and smirked, definitely smirked — as he touched the key to the tattoo that just so happened to be located on the red Kurogane’s buttocks. The red Kurogane disappeared and the yellow one immediately moved to take his place.

“You could at least do something scandalous, you know,” Bridget said, yawning. “Do you two even know how to play games?”

“No,” Kurogane said coldly and Bridget sighed.

“I didn’t ask you,” she said. “I really should have thought this through more. I expected a better class of rage from you.”

“I’m afraid Kuro-sama’s just not that good with misbehaving children sometimes,” Fai said regretfully as he pressed the key against the yellow Kurogane’s inner thigh and it disappeared in a shower of yellow sparks.

“If he’d been less rude to begin with this wouldn’t have happened, you know,” Bridget continued. She cocked her head at the remaining green Kurogane, who had taken Fai’s hand again. “So is it really perfectly anatomically accurate?”

“Answer and die,” Kurogane said before Fai could open his mouth.

“That’s a trade secret, I’m afraid,” Fai said, wrapping his legs around the green Kurogane and letting himself be pulled close so that he could press the key against the lock on the duplicate’s chest. There was another shower of sparks and Fai was suddenly sitting on his hands and knees in the water.

“That’s too bad,” Bridget said and the scenery suddenly began to blur around them. As it re-solidified it took Kurogane a moment to realize they were back in the green hallway where they’d first started. Bridget was nowhere to be seen, but her voice echoed through the hall clearly. “Hey, why don’t I see what that kid you brought along thinks of all this?”

Fai and Kurogane exchanged sudden worried looks.

“Syaoran-kun!”

—

Syaoran flipped through another chapter, scribbling down some notes on the notepad Mokona had helpfully provided for him. He had long ago lost track of time but he was dimly aware that he hadn’t seen Kurogane or Fai for quite a while. He hadn’t really paid much attention to that, not with how wrapped up he was in his books.

It wasn’t that he didn’t care, or wasn’t worried. It was simply that Syaoran had been traveling with Kurogane and Fai long enough to know that if there was something dangerous in the library, the two of them were more than well equipped to handle things on their own and in the event they weren’t then they would definitely find a way to get in contact with him as soon as possible. Beyond that, if there was anything else they were up to he had also been traveling with them long enough to be aware that he probably didn’t want to know.

“Did Syaoran find something interesting?” Mokona peered over his shoulder.

“I’m not sure yet but--” Syaoran cut off abruptly as a hand reached down from behind him and ruffled his hair. He nearly fell backwards in surprise, staring up. “K-Kurogane-san?”

“How’s it going, kid?” Kurogane was standing there behind him. Well…it certainly looked like Kurogane at any rate, but the wide smile was definitely new and Syaoran could have sworn that Kurogane’s clothes weren’t purple.

“Going?” Syaoran tried to shake off the surprise. “The research? Well, I think I’ve found a few interesting things. This library’s really amazing, they have everything, it’s just a matter of translating some of it--” He broke off again as Kurogane slapped his back roughly, laughing.

“That’s my kid!” Kurogane crossed his arms and nodded. “You’re making me proud, you know that? Makes me feel we’ve raised you right.”

“Um…right,” Syaoran said slowly. “Are-are you feeling okay, Kurogane-san?”

“Is Kurogane sick?” Mokona hopped onto Kurogane’s shoulder and put a paw on his forehead. Kurogane patted Mokona on the head happily and laughed again as he handed the white creature back to Syaoran.

“You kids are such jokers,” he said. “Of course I’m fine! Can’t a father look in on his kids every now and again?”

“There you are!” Fai’s voice cut off any reply they might have. The smile on Fai’s face was disturbingly nonchalant as he strode up to them. “I’ve been looking for you all over, Kuro-sama!”

“Just checking on the kids.” Kurogane took Fai by the arm and kissed his head.

“That’s very precious of you, Kuro-sama, but you promised me some alone time,” Fai said sweetly, lightly tugging on Kurogane’s arm.

“Well, I guess that’s true…” Kurogane looked thoughtful. “I don’t know, we really shouldn’t be leaving the kids alone in a big place like this for too long. They might get into trouble. You know how kids are.” He slapped Syaoran on the back again and Syaoran really wished he would stop doing that because he wasn’t quite sure Kurogane was aware of his own strength at the moment.

“I’m sure we can trust Mokona to keep a proper eye on Syaoran-kun,” Fai insisted, pulling Kurogane back towards the bookshelves. He gave Kurogane a wide-eyed pouting look. “And you promised me, Kuro-sama.”

“Well, I can’t break a promise now, can I?” Kurogane threw an arm around Fai’s neck. “Lead on, sweetie!”

“Um, Fai-san…” Syaoran looked from Kurogane’s bright open face to Fai’s slightly unhinged smile. “Is—is there something going on?”

“No, nothing to worry about,” Fai assured him. “Kuro-sama and I are just going to go over here for a bit. Don’t mind us, Syaoran-kun, get back to your reading!” With that he dragged Kurogane back behind the bookshelves and out of sight.

Syaoran and Mokona exchanged a look and then went back to their books.

“Did you see what I did with that red book?” Syaoran asked Mokona as they returned to the table.

“Syaoran returned that one to the shelf,” Mokona reminded him. “Back that way.”

“Oh, right.” Syaoran went back towards the indicated shelf. As he rounded the corner he heard voices.

“You’re feeling feisty today, huh?”

“I—guess you could say that, yes.”

Lying in the middle of the floor were Kurogane and Fai. Kurogane seemed to have Fai pinned down in some sort of wrestling move and was chuckling heartily as Fai unbuckled his belt and reached a hand up his shirt. Two feet to the left there was another Kurogane, all gray and slightly see-through, attempting to bang his head against one of the shelves. They all looked up as Syaoran appeared.

“I hope we weren’t bothering you, Syaoran-kun,” Fai said with a jaunty wave.

Syaoran opened his mouth to say something and then thought better of it. The spectral Kurogane resumed banging his head against (or through, rather) the shelves.

“I was just getting a book,” Syaoran explained, taking a red book from the nearest shelf and then turning and walking away.

“Syaoran…” Mokona started and Syaoran held up a hand, sighing heavily as he sat back down at the table.

“It’s fine. I don’t want to know.”

—

“Well, that ended up awkward, didn’t it?” Fai craned his neck to get a look at Kurogane, which was a bit difficult as the purple Kurogane seemed to think they were having some kind of good-natured tussling contest and currently had him pinned against the ground. “I guess we’ll probably have to have that talk with Syaoran-kun after all.”

There was no reply and Fai tried to turn and look at him. Something gray fluttered past in the distance, disappearing hurriedly behind a bookshelf. One of the book monkeys followed after it and Fai’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully.

“Well. That explains a bit more,” Fai said quietly to himself and pressed the key against the lock tattoo just below the purple Kurogane’s belly button. Purple sparks filled the air and the weight holding him down disappeared. Fai sat up and stretched a bit, looking around. “Kuro-sama? Are you still here?”

Kurogane didn’t answer and continued banging his head through the bookshelves.

—

“That had better be it.” They were back in the main hallway now. Kurogane stared down with barely-contained irritation as Fai held the golden key up to the light.

“It looks like we have all the stones,” Fai said. He leaned over and examined the collar around Kurogane’s neck with a professional air. “Well, no harm in trying it, right?” He placed the key in the lock and turned it.

There was a click and then spots momentarily danced in front of Kurogane’s eyes and he fell to his knees. When the spots cleared he could see that the color and substance seemed to have returned to his body.

“Finally,” Kurogane huffed.

“You’re just embarrassed because Syaoran-kun got to see your fatherly side,” Fai teased, poking his cheek. “I thought it was cute, myself.”

“I don’t need to hear that from you.”

“Are two done being unbearably married-couple now?” A bored voice rang out and Kurogane immediately stiffened, hand going to his sword. Fai stopped him with a touch and stepped forward.

“I’m sorry we haven’t entertained you properly, Bridget-chan,” he called out. “We’ve been such rude guests, after all. If you’ll come out, we can apologize.”

“What the hell are you—” Kurogane started and cut off when he saw the look on Fai’s face. He sighed and let go of his sword. If the idiot mage had a plan, then there wasn’t really any help for it but to let him do what he wanted.

“You know, I think I went about this all wrong.” As Bridget spoke the hallway blurred and then they were standing in a wide room of white brick, directly below a giant circular stained-glass window. There was an opulent chair set against the far wall and Bridget sat haphazardly in it, wand hanging loosely from one hand. Fai’s eyes narrowed slightly and Kurogane followed his gaze to the golden key dangling from the end her wand. He glanced sharply at Fai, who nodded almost imperceptibly as he took a careful step forward. Bridget pointed her wand sharply at him. “I thought it was Mr. Grump there who was going to be the issue, but he’s not. He’s just the dumb muscle. You’re the one in charge here, huh?”

“Dumb muscle?!” Kurogane snapped and Fai laughed.

“Well, that is one way to put it, I suppose.”

“If I want to see something really entertaining,” Bridget continued, twirling her wand thoughtfully, “then I guess the one I need to play with first is you, isn’t it, blondie?”

Kurogane and Fai both tensed at the same moment, the tips of Fai’s fingers starting to glow blue, but before either of them could move Bridget abruptly disappeared from the throne. They both whirled, instinctively moving so they were back to back as they scanned the walls for any sign of the girl.

“Too late, boys!” The voice came from all sides at once and on instinct Kurogane glanced up just in time to see Bridget swing her wand, aiming straight for Fai.

“Look out, idiot!” The only thing he was going to regret more than moving was staying still so Kurogane slammed into Fai’s back, sending him sprawling a second before the spell hit the ninja squarely in the back. He didn’t even manage a swear before tumbling to his knees.

“Kuro-sama!” Kurogane heard Fai call him and shook his head to clear the darkness from it, He was crouched on his hands and knees, and his hands were distinctly gray and slightly translucent.

“Damn it.” This was not his day at all.

“Hey, wait—!” He looked up at the sound of Bridget’s voice, just in time to see a grim-faced Fai send a bright burst of magic in her direction. It was too fast to miss and she landed hard on the ground, bound in magical chains. A giant paper silhouette hovered in front of her.

“Are you all right?” Fai didn’t look at Kurogane, his eyes on the paper creature. It was beginning to change, growing larger and darker, all blacks and reds, and Kurogane could almost see a shadow of himself in it but there was something else there too, something wilder and more feral…

“Do I look fine?” Kurogane grumbled, getting to his feet. He stared up at the Kurogane beast that was slowly approaching them. There was a tattoo of a keyhole on its forehead. “Can you handle that alone?”

“Good luck,” Bridget said nastily, struggling against her chains. “This isn’t one of those cutesy fun guys I was teasing you with before. That’s all anger and rage, condensed into one perfect replica. Good luck getting that to go back into the key.”

“I don’t know about that.” Fai reached down and retrieved the small golden key that had fallen to the floor from out of nowhere. His smile was slow and thoughtful and full of sharp edges. He glanced back at Kurogane. “You pushed me out of the way, didn’t you? That was unexpectedly chivalrous of you, Kuro-sama.”

“Hmmph.” Kurogane looked away with a snort and was thankful that he couldn’t blush in his current condition. “I just didn’t think the world could take two of you, that’s all.”

“Ah, is that so?” Fai laughed and Kurogane knew without needing to ask that in that moment they had both thought the same thing. “Even so…thank you, Kuro-sama.”

Fai stepped forward to meet the Kuro-beast. It glared down at him, eyes glowing crimson red.

“So what are you going to do?” Bridget taunted. “Get rid of it with your fancy magic and never touch your boyfriend there again?”

“I don’t think that will be necessary.” Fai’s voice was completely calm as he approached the monster, raising his hands towards it. “I noticed something, while we were chasing all those paper creatures. No matter how much they varied from my Kuro-sama, there was always a small part of them that seemed familiar. Even a copy like that, it can’t be completely separated from the original. And well, it’s Kuro-sama.” The Kuro-beast leaned down towards him and Fai reached up, cradling its face in his hands. Kurogane stiffened, unable to stop the sudden spike of worry shooting through him, and then Fai smiled again. “And in every color, there is one part of him that never changes. That no matter what, Kuro-sama wouldn't ever really hurt me.”

Even as he spoke the Kuro-beast’s red eyes dimmed slightly and it froze as if held captive by Fai’s gaze. They stood there for a moment, unmoving, and Kurogane’s breath caught in his throat.

“Gotcha.” Fai laughed then, and tapped the key against the Kuro-beast’s forehead.

There was a flurry of red and black lights and the monster disappeared. Kurogane’s breath finally came back and he couldn’t suppress the relieved sigh.

“You idiot,” he grumbled as Fai walked over, brandishing the key. “What were you going to do if it attacked you?”

“I’m sure I’d manage something,” Fai assured him, placing the key in the lock. “Let’s face it, Kuro-sama. We both know I could take you out if I needed to.” He smiled brightly at Kurogane’s suddenly surly expression and turned the key.

There were spots in front of his eyes again and when his vision cleared Fai was already walking away towards where Bridget was squirming, still trying to get out of her bonds. Fai reached down and picked up her fallen wand, unwinding the key from it.

“This is what I think it is, isn’t it?” Fai gave Bridget a searching look and then crouched down, reaching for her gloved hands.

“H-hey, go away!” Bridget yelled, kicking her legs. “What are you doing? Stop that!”

“Ah, there it is.” Fai pulled off one black glove and Kurogane stepped forward to get a look.

On Bridget’s hand there was the unmistakable tattoo in the shape of a keyhole.

“Don’t!” Bridget tried to pull away as Fai took her hand. “That girl’s no fun at all! I’m doing better than she ever did!”

“I think that’s for her to decide, isn’t it?” Fai said, and touched the key to the lock. Bridget cried out once and then her body disappeared in a shower of rainbow sparks. Fai straightened, holding up the key in one hand. He glanced around the room. “You’re here too, right? Bridget-chan.”

Later, when they explained the whole thing to Syaoran, Fai would describe the noise Kurogane made when an incorporeal girl stuck her body through his torso as “something like a puppy whose tail was just stepped on,” and Kurogane would deny that to the last, but they all knew who was really telling the truth.

—

“I’m so very sorry!” The girl bowed low for what had to be the tenth time.

“It’s all right, really,” Fai assured her, patting her shoulder. The first light of dawn was coming over the horizon and they all stood on the steps of the Infinite Library. Syaoran’s pack was weighted down with several promising books that Bridget had insisted they take. “No one was hurt, right?”

“Speak for yourself,” Kurogane muttered crabbily and Fai made a shushing motion at him.

“I didn’t intend for it to get out of hand like that,” Bridget said sadly, fiddling nervously with her glasses. “My mistress always said I needed to be less stiff or it would effect the Infinite Library too. I didn’t want it to become boring for all the people who come to visit. When I found the spell I thought maybe I could make another me who might have more imagination. I didn’t realize I wouldn’t be able to undo it by myself and because of it that girl ran wild for so long…I’m really so very sorry. Thank you very much for saving me.”

“It was no trouble at all,” Fai said. He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t look sad, Bridget-chan. I think we like this Bridget-chan much better than the other one. You should be happy as you are, hmm?”

“I-I will try, really.” Bridget smiled shyly and glanced at Kurogane. “I caused you the most trouble of all. I can’t apologize enough, truly. If you want to hit me, I understand.”

“It was nothing,” Kurogane grumbled, averting his eyes.

“Aw, Kuro-sama, you softy!” Fai patted his shoulder and Kurogane glared at him. “Don’t worry, Bridget-chan. Kuro-sama is a sucker for cute young girls. He’s really just a big daddy at heart.”

“Will you shut up?”

“Anyway, I suppose we should be going,” Fai said, blithely ignoring him. “Thank you for the books, Bridget-chan.”

“Is it really all right to take this many?” Syaoran asked her. “The library…”

“The library will make more to replace them on its own,” Bridget assured him. “Think of it as compensation for all your trouble, and a thank you gift for helping. Please, feel free to visit again whenever you can!”

They descended the steps onto the grass, Fai waving goodbye as the library began to fade into nothingness behind them. In moments the hilltop was empty, as if nothing had ever been there in the first place.

“Well, that all worked out for the best, didn’t it?” Fai said cheerily. “Syaoran-kun got some nice books and Kuro-sama got to explore his softer side. Quite a few of his softer sides, actually.”

“So what happened in the library?” Mokona asked curiously.

“Nothing,” Kurogane said sulkily.

“Don’t be like that,” Fai prodded him. “Mokona and Syaoran-kun should know. Now, where should I start? First there was the part where Kuro-sama owes me a love poem…”

“I am not writing you a poem!” Kurogane snapped and Fai just laughed. It was the sort of laugh that screamed ‘I am indulging you but I am also not letting this go and will probably be bringing it up whenever I can just to watch you squirm.’ Kurogane sighed heavily.

He really fucking hated the weird worlds.


~the end.

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