Title: Da Capo al Fine
Prompt: not all who wander are lost
Rating: T,M
Warnings: reincarnation as a recurring theme, a bit of angst, lack of sci-fi somehow OTL
Any author's notes: I'm so sorry for its brevity! My original story did not work out and I had to rewrite everything the night before the posting day so everything's right by the skin of my teeth. I know that Team Future means dollops of sci-fi but I just had to have a twisted interpretation for future. GOMENASAI! Hopefully, you guys enjoy reading this TTwTT Oh, also highly inspired by tongari's 25 Lives. It's beautiful, and I quoted some text there. *bows*



Death could be a fire.

Death could be a game.

Death could be love or hate or mercy thrown in between.

( But when death is a repetition, isn’t it the damndest thing? )



( ~~~ )


Fai has a particular dislike towards bidding farewells.

-- slim hands clasps those shoulders, coeruleum eyes on crimson eyes, heart in his hand --

Instead, he wishes, prays, and says

let’s meet again, in the next life

-- cracked lips twist into a customary smirk as his hand unsteadily makes it way to that idiot’s fair head, and just because he hates goodbyes, Kurogane whispers --

I’ll be waiting



( ~~~ )


Fai is fifteen and bears a gun against his temple when he first remembers.

He remembers the languid burn of ice upon his fingers, of feathers too bright and distant, and of a king that slept asunder.

He remembers a girl, a boy, then, a creature.

He remembers a twin, long out of reach.

But most of all, he remembers that he disfavours farewells , that there is someone -- tall and dark and incredibly grouchy -- he must meet.

It’s just that he remembers everything a little too late, for there is a click, a beat, and another, and nothing between.



( ~~~ )


The second time he remembers , he is thirty. He is a chemistry teacher, explaining the nail-biting mysteries that are valence electrons, covalent bonds, Periodic symbols and so on to dozens of clueless students. He is not a suicide victim nor a mage.

This is his new life, this is his new face.

( The realization bites him all the same. )

When he drops by the teachers’ lounge later, several of his colleagues are there, sharing out snacks and tales of woe about never-ending paperwork and infernal class grades. One of them, Fuuma, calls out to him.

‘ Fai-sensei! Care for some Pocky? ‘

Just as he faces the PE teacher to reply, Fai stills his tongue, because for a moment, for a second, he sees another man in that black and yellow jumpsuit that all the PE teachers wore in this school.

‘ Is there something on my face? ‘

Fai blinks, smiling thinly before replying.

‘ No, not at all! It’s just that..you looked like someone familiar to me a bit just now, Fuuma-sensei. ‘

Perhaps in another life, it is truly so


( ~~~ )


Third time. Eighteen.

Shortly after it all comes back, there is an accident. Or rather, he is in an accident.

His vision is too red, too crowded, and breathing is suddenly not a necessity anymore. Everywhere hurts. As if everywhere bleeds.

But there are warm, rough hands pulling him out from the car, laying him down somewhere, frantically feeling him for a pulse.

And there is a voice so loud, so gruff, so familiar, calling him idiot over and over and over and--

Fai closes his eyes.

Finally

The pain stops.


( ~~~ )


The fourth time hits when Fai has just finished performing his last piece for the day at the bar.

His fingers remain there upon the cold, hard ivory keys of the piano even as the applause from the audience dies down. Bile rises through his gut, through his throat because last time was so close, so near and yet so damn far --

The bar owner taps him on the shoulder, tells him to get down because the show’s over. He whirls around and requests to sing one more time, just one more time and maybe it’s how hoarse his voice is or the desperation flashing in his eyes that prompts Caldina-san to step back, nodding her permission before turning away.

This time Fai sings of want and longing and of waiting for someone to take him away.

Years on, he stills sing it where ever he plays, in hopes that one person would hear it somehow, somewhere, sometime.


( ~~~ )


The fifth time. He is twenty six and a forensic doctor.

It isn’t him leaving first this time round though.

Fai’s fists tighten when he sees a new body -- don’t let it be him please don’t let it be him -- being rolled into the morgue for a post-mortem, and when he confirms the identity, his whole world stops, comes to a head.

He mumbles stop dying into the air.

If only he could say so for himself as well.


( ~~~ )



Sixth time.

Another mishap. Another missed chance.

Still.

There is a promise to keep.



( ~~~ )


Seventh and eighth and nineth and tenth --

( And I’m not giving up, I’m just giving in )

-- and eleventh and twelfth --

( But when death is a repetition, isn’t it the damndest thing? )

-- and thirteenth --

( Ah, but I don’t blame you )

-- fourteenth, fifteenth --

( I’ll never burn as brilliantly as you )

-- sixteenth --

( It’s only fair that I should be the one to chase you across ten, twenty five, a hundred lifetimes until I find the one where you’ll return to me )

( Da Capo al Fine )



( ~~~ )


The seventeenth time happens and Fai nearly drops the programming tablet that he was holding as past recollections cascaded through his mind, like a tsunami upon his inner consciousness.

He slumps on his desk, pushing research papers on artificial cerebral nets, optical implants, and organ schematics aside to rest his forehead upon the metal surface. Frustration boils under his skin but it does not last because…

No matter how many deaths that he dies, he will never forget. No matter how many lives that he lives, he will never regret.

A shadow falls over him and then, a rap on his desk prompts Fai to tilt his head upwards.

‘ What is it, Tomoyo-chan? ‘

The girl smiles and pets Fai gently on the head.

‘ There’s a new worker at the research facility. Don’t you think you should introduce yourself to him? ‘

He whines, trying to scrunch up his features into the most pitiful expression he could manage.

‘ But I’m so tiiireeeeed ~ why doesn’t he go around to everyone’s workplace and introduce himself instead? ‘

Tomoyo doesn’t reply immediately, but an all-too-knowing look creeps into her soft eyes. It makes Fai sit up, his heart beat a tad faster, and he thinks but she couldn’t have known, could she, really --

‘ He’s in the lobby. ‘

And her words sends him on his feet, through the door of his cubicle, and down flights and flights of staircases.

She watches him go like the wind and softly, very softly says,

‘ Not all who wander are lost.

~the end.

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